The cleaning system you paused
When was the last time you really cried?
Not that "pretty" crying you see in movies. That kind of crying where your face contorts, you get snot running down your nose, you make weird noises, and you lose all control.
That crying.
If you don't remember when, or if months (or years) have passed, your body has accumulated work to do.
And if you cry "all the time" over anything, there is also work to be done. But of a different kind.
Because crying is not optional. It's system maintenance.
How to change your car's oil. You can put it off. You can ignore it. But eventually, the engine will blow up.
Your tears have work to do
Why you can't cry even if you want to
There are two types of people: those who can't cry and those who can't stop.
Type 1: Total blockage
"I want to cry, but I can't. I feel the pressure, but nothing comes out."
Why it happens:
As a child, crying was not safe:
- "Stop crying or I'll give you reasons to cry."
- "Don't be dramatic."
- “Big kids don't cry.”
Your body learned: expressing emotion = danger.
So you blocked the exit. Your diaphragm froze. Your throat closed up. Your tears got stuck.
Your drainage system has been clogged for years.
Type 2: The broken faucet
"I cry about everything. A movie, a commercial, someone saying something nice to me."
Why it happens:
There is so much accumulated that any crack in the dam unleashes a deluge.
It's not that you're "too sensitive." It's that you have years of unshed tears looking for any excuse to come out.
The drainage system is so full that it overflows with anything.
What happens when you suppress crying for years
Biochemically
Emotional tears (as opposed to those that come when you cut onions) contain:
- Cortisol (stress hormone)
- Leucine enkephalin (natural painkiller)
- Stress hormones that your body needs to RELEASE
When you don't cry, those toxins remain in your system.
Your body is trying to get rid of the trash. And you close the door to the trash can.
Physically
Chronic tension in:
- Diaphragm (frozen)
- Throat (closed)
- Chest (tight)
- Jaw (tense)
Your entire torso becomes a shield to hold back the tears.
Emotionally
If you block the tears, you block everything.
You can't choose which emotion to feel. You either feel them all or you feel none.
People who cannot cry also cannot feel deep joy, real connection, or fearless love.
The different types of crying
Not all crying is the same. There is a difference between release and victimization.
Healthy crying
- It comes from the body, not from history.
- It feels like physical relief.
- Afterwards, you feel lighter.
- It may be without knowing exactly why
- Your breathing opens up
This is the maintenance your body needs.
Victimization cry (loop)
- He keeps repeating the story in his mind.
- It feels like sinking deeper
- Then you feel worse.
- You always know exactly why
- Your breathing becomes more restricted.
This is getting stuck in the pain, not processing it.
How to safely allow crying
For those who cannot cry
Exercise: Liberating Breathing
- Lie down in the fetal position.
- Place one hand on your chest.
- Inhale deeply toward where your hand is.
- Exhale with sound (sigh, moan)
- Repeat until you feel movement in your chest.
Don't force the tears. Create space for them to come out if they're ready.
For those who can't stop
Exercise: Crying with limits
- Set a timer for 10 minutes.
- Allow yourself to cry freely during that time.
- When the alarm goes off, take 5 deep breaths.
- Get up, wash your face, drink some water.
You teach your system: I can feel AND I can regulate myself.
For everyone
Position matters:
Don't cry lying on your back (you'll choke).
Better: Sitting leaning forward, or fetal position.
This allows your diaphragm to move freely.
When the blockage is too deep
If you haven't been able to cry for years, or if you cry constantly without feeling relief...
Your nervous system needs help to regulate itself.
At Rebirthing LLC, we work specifically with blocked emotional release.
Through therapeutic breathwork, we access stored emotions that words cannot reach.
We don't force you to cry. We create the conditions where your body finally feels safe to let go.
It's the difference between forcing and allowing.
Your tears are not a sign of weakness.
Crying is not collapsing. It is cleansing.
It's not about losing control. It's about letting go of what you no longer need to carry.
Your tears are stress chemicals leaving your body.
It's tension releasing. It's emotions processing. It's your body doing exactly what it needs to do.
The maintenance you put off for years can finally be done.
And when you do, when you finally cry what you needed to cry...
You breathe more deeply. Your chest opens up. Your voice comes out clearer.
Because the cleaning system was finally able to do its job.
Reconnect with the power you have to heal.
How much work do your tears have left to do? Share with someone who needs permission to cry. 💙
References
- Bylsma, L. M., Vingerhoets, A. J., & Rottenberg, J. (2008). “When is crying cathartic? An international study.” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 27(10), 1165-1187.
- Frey, W. H. (1985). Crying: The Mystery of Tears. Winston Press.
- Van Hemert, D. A., van de Vijver, F. J., & Vingerhoets, A. J. (2011). “Culture and crying: prevalences and gender differences.” Cross-Cultural Research, 45(4), 399-431.
- Vingerhoets, A. J. (2013). Why Only Humans Weep: Unraveling the Mysteries of Tears. Oxford University Press.
- Gračanin, A., et al. (2014). “Is crying a self-soothing behavior?” Frontiers in Psychology, 5, 502.
- Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness.. North Atlantic Books.
How to address it comprehensively
At Rebirthing LLC we understand that anxiety is not resolved solely from the mind. That is why we work with Quantum Neurointegrationan approach that combines psychology, neuroscience y quantum medicine to balance body, mind and energy.